Wading in

The reeds stand silently
motionless in the heavy night air.
There is no breeze to stir them,
Only a slow cricket chirp
vibrating through the expanse.

The cool still water beckons,
singularly lit by the ever full moon.
It seems a pathway is illuminated
out across the dark, impenetrable waters.
This time I am ready.

I have come to this shore a thousand times
stood under this unblinking moon
felt the pull of the water
the promise of consummation
letting go and being fully embraced, surrounded.

But that would mean giving up control.
So I have waited and turned away,
back to my life, yet always unfulfilled, desiring.
So afraid to even poke a toe in.
I've run or trudged or been dragged from here 999 times.

I have returned as a doe.
Skittish, yet here I am.
I have taken off my shoes and feel the cool mud between my toes
I will not run or leave.
You know, I have nowhere else to go.

And even if I could, my thoughts and heart
always return here. You know they do.
It has always been this way.
You have always been waiting, the only place that is home.
Now, I am ready.

I bless you for your patience.
I praise you for your mercy.
I adore you for your sacrifice.
I thank you for your love.
My words are weak and falter.

I am wading in.