2 poems by W. B. Yeats

Cosmic clouds emitted from the Heart Nebula IC 1805 - near constellation Cassiopeia

He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

A Deep Sworn Vow

Others because you did not keep
That deep-sworn vow have been friends of mine;
Yet always when I look death in the face,
When I clamber to the heights of sleep,
Or when I grow excited with wine,
Suddenly I meet your face. 
____________________________

These two poems figure heavily in a song cycle that I am working up for the coming season.
Somehow, I fall in love with them more and more with every practice session.

The first poem is especially important to me at this time of year, just before my studio season starts. I read it to remind myself as a teacher that my students are coming to me with their dreams. I have the responsibility to them to nurture and honor their efforts and help them recognize their own triumphs.

The second poem is because after almost 18 years I reached out and received an answer, one of mutual respect and friendship and that is all I really ever needed...

Blue Moon

Duncan Campbell - South Beaver Creek, OR

Surrounded by their lazy chirp,
these crickets in the cool August evening
await the rise of a solitary traveler.

Reaching into the darkened sky
accustomed to silence for her prayers
eyes gaze aloft for answers only You can give

Dropping low to the open field
crystalline light bathes every blessed cell
slowing breezes, stillness returns, breathing settles

Confronting a fully honest face
her wearied heart senses its wounds bound up
by every silver beam radiating downward.

Remaining here she is at peace.
Her face a grain of sand on the vast beach
yet illuminated by Your willingness to stoop.

That is Your secret, is it not?
We are imperfect reflections of light.
Honesty, vulnerability, humility
She offers You these and her dreams
 for the gift of Your love.

Psalm Concerning the Castle - Denise Levertov

Let me be at the place of the castle.
Let the castle be within me.
Let it rise foursquare from the moat's ring.
Let the moat's waters reflect green plumage of ducks, let the shells of swimming turtles break the surface or be seen through the rippling depths.
Let horsemen be stationed at the rim of it, and a dog, always alert on the brink of sleep.
Let the space under the first storey be dark, let the water lap the stone posts, and vivid green slime glimmer upon them; let a boat be kept there.
Let the caryatids of the second storey be bears upheld on beams that are dragons.
On the parapet of the central room, let there be four archers, looking off to the four horizons.
Within, let the prince be at home, let him sit in deep thought, at peace, all the windows open to the loggias.
Let the young queen sit above, in the cool air, her child in her arms; let her look with joy at the great circle, the pilgrim shadows, the work of the sun and the play of the wind.
Let her walk to and fro. Let the columns uphold the roof, let the storeys uphold the columns, let there be dark space below the lowest floor, let the castle rise foursquare out of the moat, let the moat be a ring and the water deep, let the guardians guard it, let there be wide lands around it, let that country where it stands be within me, let me be where it is.

__________

I sang three masses today for the Feast of the Assumption. That means three times through Psalm 45.
Yesterday I had lunch with one of my oldest and dearest friends. He told me that I seemed different, settled and serene.
I have been working very hard on my inner fortress, and I am very grateful that someone who knows me so well has noticed my progress. 

August

The cicada shell
clings to a day in the past
it's broken lantern
dusty with evening light.

Walking alone toward the house,
my life is a moon
in the frail blue branches
of my veins.


by Ted Kooser 
from Sure Signs

Love and Breath: Deconstructed

Requiem - by Nathalia Suellen

It is neither strength, nor weakness that can be blamed.
In the end the fault lies in need.
In desperation.

Beauty can not be forced, though beauty be a force.
Trust. It is enough.
You are enough.

You who want it so badly, who yearn to control and contain.
You take on too much and must push, squeezing to the limits of your strength.
Release your worry.

Or, You with a tepid heart, who are shallow or threadbare.
You can not even conceive how far you are from what you desire, passionless and banal you will remain.
Open your eyes.

When awareness meets an open heart, there is a flow.
Love is magnified, shared and multiplied.

But it can not come from the poverty of an impoverished heart. From the need to prove, or move and least of all from the lack of will.
There is no ego in this. Take off your mask. Give up yourself and dive in.

Love is all we really have in this world. Everything else we borrow.
But our love is the only thing that is really ours to give and receive.
It is an active force, constantly pulsing and radiating
It comes from within and the trust comes first.

Trust brings the balance to the elements:
Anticipation and Desire
Inspiration and Liberation
Exhale into creation.

You are a force of nature.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
You were given a gift to share.
Time to step up.

Angel in pink light

I opened my eyes and saw a bright pink light.
"What is that?" I thought, unwitting that I had said it aloud.
A voice, "What do you see, hon?"
Who's voice was this? Do I know this voice?
"Who are you?" I asked. "Is the pink the curtain? or the sky?"
The voice answered, "The curtain is pink, but I pulled it back, the pink light is dawn. It is Saturday morning. My name is José. Are you thirsty?"

Saturday. I had made it to Saturday. I had lived through it.
"José, can I see the sky?"
"Let me adjust your table, I can't sit you up, but I can angle you. Do you want some jello?" José asked.
"No, jello thank you, just sky. Can I have my glasses?"
I felt my wedding band on my finger. It hadn't been a dream. Jason had been there. He had seen me. Did I remember seeing him? or dream it.
"He fainted, didn't he?"
José pushed my glasses onto my nose. The window came into view, and the blazing pink rushed into focus. I was alive. It was Saturday, July 29, 2006 and I was alive.
"My babies???"
José answered, "About two hours ago, we did a quick heart beat monitor. They were fine, two strong heartbeats. By 8 am, there will be a team here with an ultrasound, you'll see them today. The anesthesiologist was sure they were fine. You were monitored very closely. You had a rough night. You're husband and mom were here, your husband was a little scared. Your mom took him home. Are you in pain?"
I never saw José, he was silhouetted in the pink light. Jason had kissed me, he had put my band back on my finger, than he said 'i am gonna faint.' and the nurse got him a chair just in time. I hadn't dreamed it.
"No, no pain, not like before anyway. I have my babies, I have my life. We will be okay."
José showed me how to use the PCA, and I did use it, but before I slipped back into sleep, I saw the dawn. Literally, the dawn of a new day for us. Later Jason came in, as I was transferred to an ICU room. He was there for the ultrasound. We cried together. The babies were kicking and squirming as before.

Naïvite and Wagner Camp

I am spending 10 days studying under the magnificent Jane Eaglen and her assembled team of super-Wagner colleagues.

My performance assignments are Sieglinde in Die Walküre (Act 1, Scene 3)
and Elsa of Brabant in Lohengrin (Act 2, Scene 2)

Twice I have been in conversations with a director or coach where the word naïve came up as the quality that these ladies, and I have very mixed regards to this word. It has an underlying implication of some mental deficiency. Being a strong willed (read:stubborn) woman of a relatively high IQ, despite being a natural blonde this sits very uneasily with me. I've fought stereotypes my whole life. So, I started to deconstruct the women I'm playing in order to serve them better.

Both of these ladies are pretty much victims of circumstance and crimes perpetrated by forces they can not understand or overcome.
But does that make them naïve?

Sieglinde, having been separated at birth from her twin Siegmund describes in colorful language her plight in the first 2 lines of her monologue "Der Männer Sippe".
The way I translate it:
The clansmen sat there in the hall for Hunding's wedding summoned
His suitor, a woman that all unasked, the rapists gave him to wife.

So, already we know Sieglinde is damaged. Emotionally, she was forced into a marriage to Hunding by a pack of his tribesmen.
Hunding and his pals sit around and drink as she weeps in misery, knowing that she is powerless to change her fate.
She goes on to describe the only time she can remember someone looking at her tenderly, with pity. As it turns out this was her father, Wotan, who himself was unable to save her from this fate.
The best he could do is plunge a sword into the Ash tree and declare that whomever draws it forth can have it and Sieglinde as a rightful spouse.
So, basically she is living as a sex slave to a warlord. She's desperate, she is the epitome of vulnerable, and Dear God is she damaged... but I don't see this as naïve.
When her hero comes to the door, she doesn't ask questions, at least not until she is already wooed by his words. She speaks to him in the same warlike gruff heroic tones in her monologue, because this is the only language she knows for strong emotion.
This makes Siegmund's "Winterstürme" even more of a revelation to her. Someone can use words of spring and love, and flowers and tenderness and convey a passionate emotion that has nothing to do with war or rape. This is what leads her into her outpouring of "Du bist der Lenz", she has never been spoken to in this way. Is it any wonder that despite finding out he is her twin brother she still runs off with Siegmund? No, he's her ticket out.


On to Elsa -
The case for Elsa's naïvité is really a lot harder to discount in today's society.
If someone one makes your brother disappear and then blames you for his murder, you may be suspicious of them.
But, if we believe Elsa is so accused and therefore spends hours in prayer, as she says in her dream aria from Act 1, she has no time to be suspicious of anyone else.
She is wrapped up in prayers for her brother's return and the dream of a champion who can rescue her and clear her name. This may seem ridiculously innocent, but consider she is living in Belgium in the 10th Century. She is a faithful Catholic. It does not help that she is being duped by a pagan priestess.
I've been doing a lot of reading lately, and it strikes me how much the Gospels refer to Christ's desire for us to become like little children to enter into his kingdom. What does that mean? "Become like a little child"?
Well, I have two young kids and I can tell you my thoughts.
Young kids from a loving home are (mostly) born with a strong sense of justice.
They believe in the good of all people, and though they get warnings about bad things and strangers and evils, their first instinct is to trust and love everyone they meet. If someone is sad or hurt they seek to console, they do not view them as threats.
In this scene with Ortrud in Act 2, Scene 2, despite all of the warnings she may be getting from the orchestra Elsa continues to show love and mercy towards Ortrud. This is definitely a Catholic tenet. Turn the other cheek, forgive, console the brokenhearted.
So, is being a good Catholic akin to being naïve or weak?
Well, I would say definitely not weakness, if anything more strength is drawn from her faith.
As for naïvité, let me go to confession and I'll get back to you on that.


That is really all I have from Wagner Camp. Tonight I sing on a master class for Tim Mussard. I'll be singing Elsa's dream from Act I of Lohengrin called "Einsam in trüben Tagen".

Here is a link to the aria sung by Eleanor Steber http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7wH2qiXboU